


what, jarvis?

by sleeponrooftops



Series: raising webhead: a parenting guide, attempted by the science boyfriends [29]
Category: Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Incredible Hulk - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-27
Updated: 2013-06-27
Packaged: 2017-12-16 07:52:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/859707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleeponrooftops/pseuds/sleeponrooftops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter and Jarvis spend a little quality time together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	what, jarvis?

_One month later._

_February, 2015_

“Dad, what’s a stripper?”

 

Tony chokes, spraying water everywhere, at the same time Bruce drops the books he’s holding and then starts shouting when they hit his foot.  “ _What_ did you just say?” Tony demands when he finally catches his breath.

 

Peter looks between them worriedly before asking, much quieter this time, “What’s a stripper?”

 

“Where did you hear that?” Bruce asks, stooping to pick up his books.

 

“One of the older kids said his mom was a stripper while we were on the playground during recess.”

 

Tony looks over at Bruce, who shrugs, frowning.  Tony sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face before he spins in his seat and says, “C’mere.”  Peter slides off his stool and pads over, reaching up his arms so Tony will pick him up and set him on his lap.  “You know how I get in and out of the Iron Man suits?  Kind of like how you change out of your regular clothes into pajamas?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Well, that’s what a stripper does.”

  
“She has an Iron Man suit?  But I thought they were only coded for you!” Peter exclaims angrily.

 

“No,” Tony sighs, closing his eyes, “Bruce, help.”

 

Bruce comes over and kneels in front of Tony, looking up at Peter.  “Strippers take off outfits, Peter.”

 

“For a _job_?”

 

“Yeah, for a job,” Bruce says slowly, “Does that make sense?”

 

“Not really,” Peter says, shrugging, before he slides off Tony’s lap, “Can I go downstairs and play in the menagerie alone?”

 

“Sure thing, little man,” Tony says, nodding toward the lab door, and they watch him go with matching expressions.  “What the hell just happened?” Tony asks as soon as he’s gone.

  
“Our son just asked us what a stripper was,” Bruce says, standing, “I think we actually handled that pretty well, considering.”

 

“You are not making a lewd comment toward my past,” Tony says, turning to face him, “Because, if you are, I’m going to prove you right, husband.”

 

“Husband,” Bruce says, breaking out in a grin, “I may just let you prove me right.”

 

Downstairs, Peter waits for Jarvis to let him onto the floor, and he’s outside his door before he stops, frowns, and turns around, looking at Tony and Bruce’s door.  He stays there for a few moments before he leaves his door and opens the one to their room, going inside and slowly padding over to their bed, looking around.  “Jarvis,” he whispers as he reaches the edge of the bed.

 

“Yes, sir?”

 

“Are you busy right now?”

 

“I am not currently preoccupied, sir, if you have need of me.”

 

“Only if you promise not to tell my daddies.”

 

“I shall do my best to remain silent, sir.”

 

“Okay,” Peter says before clambering up onto the bed and then reaching over to open Tony’s nightstand.  He takes a tablet out, swipes a hand over it to bring it to life, and then says, “I don’t think my daddies were telling me the whole truth.  What’s a stripper, Jarvis?”

 

“I do not feel as though that is an appropriate question, Peter.  Your father has programmed in a filter when I speak with you, and this qualifies as an inappropriate request.”

 

Peter groans, rolling his eyes, and it’s a few moments before he settles on another question.  He scoots backward before he begins, leaning against the many pillows at the head of the bed.  “Why do I have two daddies and no mommy, Jarvis?”

 

The table glows blue before a screen pops up, and Peter looks at the picture there, frowning.  “You have both a father and a mother, sir.  These are your biological parents.”

 

Peter reaches up and pushes the picture away.  “I don’t want to see them,” Peter says, fighting not to cry, “They don’t love me, or they wouldn’t have left me.  What about my real parents?  Why do I have two daddies?”

 

“Sometimes, Peter, couples are not always a man and a woman.”

 

“Are there some people with two mommies?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Hm,” Peter says, tapping the edge of the tablet before he asks, “Why do I have powers, Jarvis?”

 

Another few screens pop up, and Peter looks through them with interest as Jarvis says, “When you were three, before you came to live at the Tower, you were bitten by a radioactive spider in the lab where your father used to work.  This spider gave you your powers.”

 

“Why does Johnny have different powers?”

  
“Jonathan Storm was caught in a recreated space storm, not bitten by a radioactive spider.”

 

“So—do people have different powers because of what happened to them?  What about the X-Men?”

 

“They are born with their powers.  Their DNA is genetically mutated.  I have pulled up an example for your understanding,” Jarvis says even as a new screen comes up, showing a strand of normal DNA being enhanced.  “DNA is inside all of us, but the X-Men are different.”

 

“What about daddy?  He turns _green_ —is that a _geen-et-ic moo-tay-tion_?”

 

“Technically, yes.  Doctor Banner was exposed to mass amounts of gamma radiation.”

 

Peter sits on that for a few minutes before he asks, “Does dad have powers?”

 

“Technically, no.  Mister Stark created his powers.”

 

“Did he make the light bulb in his chest?”

 

“It is not a light bulb, Peter, and yes, he did make it.”

 

“How?”

 

“I am afraid that the answer to your question is far too complex for me to simplify.  If you wish, I feel Mister Stark may understand how to explain it to you better than I can.”

 

“Well, if it’s not a light bulb, then is it a battery?”

 

“Of sorts, I suppose.”

 

“Does he have to be plugged in?” Peter asks, flicking through images of the arc reactor as Jarvis pulls them up.

 

“He does not.  The arc reactor acts as a magnet, pulling the shrapnel away from his heart.”

 

“I thought he didn’t have a heart, and that’s why he has the battery,” Peter says, frowning, “Wait—will dad die if his battery breaks?”  Jarvis doesn’t answer immediately, and Peter looks up at the ceiling, fear writ all over his face as his lower lip starts to wobble.  “Jarvis,” he says softly, sniffling, “Jarvis, answer me.”

 

“Perhaps a new train of questioning would suit us better, sir,” Jarvis says, his voice tainted with something like sorrow.

 

“Okay,” Peter sighs, though he doesn’t continue talking.  It’s some time before his next question comes, “Jarvis!  Daddy said that Auntie Tasha’s superhero name was Black Widow.  Is she a spider like me, too?  Does she turn into a spider like Cooper except a black widow?” he adds excitedly, sitting up.

 

“No, sir,” Jarvis says, sounding amused, “Ms Romanoff merely took on the name.  She does not have superpowers, nor does she turn into a spider.”

 

“Then why is she part of the Avengers if she doesn’t have powers?”

 

“Mister Stark doesn’t have powers.”

 

“Yeah, but dad is Iron Man.  He has all the suits and the battery and he can do stuff.  Can Auntie Tasha do stuff?”

 

“She is an exceptional spy, Peter, and an asset to SHIELD and the Avengers alike.”

 

“Is Uncle Thor really an alien?  Sometimes dad calls him an alien when he has his mad voice on.”

 

“Thor is a demi-god from another world, Peter.”

 

“There are other _worlds_?” Peter exclaims, mouth dropping open, “Like what?”

 

“According to Norse mythology, Thor lives on Asgard while we live on Midgard, and there are various other realms in the universe that we have yet to explore, though I am sure Thor could tell you plenty of stories about them.  You should ask him next time you see him.”

 

“I’m totally going to,” Peter says, nodding, “What about Uncle Logan?  Does he turn into a kitty cos he has claws like one?”

 

“Logan does not turn into a feline, sir.  The adamantium in his body is also present in his claws.”

 

“What’s a stripper, Jarvis?”

 

“I am still not going to answer that question, Peter.”

 

“Worth a try,” Peter says, sighing, “Is it almost dinnertime?  I’m hungry.”

 

“I shall inform your fathers of your request.”

 

“No, it’s okay, I’m gonna go upstairs again.”  Peter shuts down the tablet and puts it away, and he’s just heading down the hall when the door opens, admitting Tony and Bruce, talking quietly with each other.  Peter runs over as soon as he sees them, hugging Tony’s leg tightly until Tony frowns and leans down, picking him up.

 

“Everything okay, little man?”

 

“I was asking Jarvis questions, and he wouldn’t tell me an answer to one, and you have to _promise_ to tell me the truth, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Tony says slowly, looking over at Bruce fearfully.

 

Peter leans back in his arms and puts a hand over the arc reactor.  “Will you die if your battery breaks?”

 

“Peter,” Tony sighs, pulling him back against him and rubbing a hand over his back, “No.  It’s never going to break, and, even if it does, I have extra ones, just in case, okay?  I’m fine, don’t worry.”

 

“Promise?”

 

“Promise.  C’mon, are you hungry?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

They start heading for the kitchen until Bruce stops, blinks, and says, “Peter, what kind of questions were you asking Jarvis?”

  
“I didn’t believe you about the stripper, so I—”

 

“ _Jarvis_!” Tony exclaims, stopping and turning around.

 

“He didn’t tell me,” Peter goes on, “He said it was _in-app-riate_.”

 

“Inappropriate,” Bruce sighs, dropping onto the sofa, “I think _my_ battery’s going to break.”

 

Peter looks over at Bruce in horror, and Tony just laughs before depositing him on the sofa next to Bruce, where he immediately crawls over and lifts up Bruce’s shirt, looking for an arc reactor and glaring at Bruce when he doesn’t find one.  Bruce just shakes his head, smiling, and brings Peter over to the kitchen, where they make dinner.


End file.
